White as a Whistle
by CommonFlower
Summary: This is a story for the McBreezy- Challenge. / Jaqueline Murphy - Pilot.


_It kind of felt like a feather, touching softly your skin. First it leaves a prickle, then it strokes down your arm and slowly losing its path__**;** leaving you wondering if you've been touched._

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><p><em><strong><em><strong>May 2009  Lincoln High School**_**_

Two authorities sat opposite me. A woman called Doctor Foster, and a man named Lightman. Quiet the pair. The feeling they both gave me caused the nausea that I had in the mornings to spread through my whole body. The air in the room was limited. At least for me. I needed more. It was sticky, but I had to remained calm. I tried hard to.

They asked me about James Cook. He was suspected to have killed Misses McCartney, teacher at our school. I did know in these moments that something wasn't quiet right about it. All connections, events that happened in the last days, pointed out that James, with security, did not have to do anything with the murder.

I still couldn't make out what happened in truth- or maybe it was just that I didn't wanted to face the truth.

Principal, or rather Castle, had been at my home some nights before. He had stumbled confused things; He had said that Misses McCartney, which had seen us together, for sure wouldn't see us again. Yes, these words indeed leave a sour aftertaste.

You ask who Castle is? Principal Castle, former director the Lincoln High School.

And I? I am Jacqueline Murphy. Pupil and former affair.

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><p>„<em>I was in Bio lab with him… <em>_You know, I don't see how he could have done what they're saying he did. It just... I don't believe it. I've never even seen him get angry. Why would he kill anybody? Doesn't make sense."_

"_Do you feel any emotional right now, Jacquelin?"_

"_Uh, no." _

"_It's okay if you're."_

"_I feel fine."_

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><p>Why I let myself fell in love with him? I often got that question after it was clear that I slept more than only once with a so much older man. I know that most people think it's horrifying, or even much worse.<p>

But what is the difference? Let us formulate it this way: Do you still remember your first love? This one tingle in your belly, that always leads to let your whole body feel an electrifying feeling? You could describe it as rediscovery. What one loves, but you don't know how to handle it? But it makes you too happy to let go? Isn't it a good feeling to be able to hold a hand? Someone who says that he likes you the way you are?

What's the difference? What makes us who we were? It was the forbidden, the secrecy. Yes, the temptation of the seduction. Playing with each other. Yeah, I've to admit that he gave me the feeling that I'm more than I believed to be.

And to frighten the skeptical people, what I took along of him was experience and even maturity. Nothing more or less than people who fell in love with people their age.

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><p><em>"Why would I know what happened to Ms. McCartney?"<em>

_"You tell me."_

_"Why would I know?"_

_"Why would I know?- Eyebrows up - like yours - and the person knows the answer to the question they're askin."_

_"But I don't. And I don't feel well."_

_"Morning sickness?"_

_"You argued with Ms. McCartney the afternoon she was murdered."_

_"No, I didn't. You don't know what you're talking about."_

_"I know when you're lying."_

_"I'm not lying."_

_"I know why you fought with her."_

_"I didn't –"_

_"This is your car-"_

_"I didn't kill Ms. McCartney!"_

_"That's the truth. I know you didn't. But you know who did. So tell me about the argument."_

_"I'm not- I've got nothing to say."_

_"You know James Cooke is innocent, and he could go to prison for the rest of his life. Are you really going to help let that happen? Maybe you couldn't have stopped the murder but you can stop this. You have to stop this."_

_"I – I can't."_

_"Well it doesn't matter now. And you'll have to live with this. 'Cause James Cooke just hung himself in his jail cell."_

_"I, I thought nothing would really happen to James 'cause he's a minor. I didn't - I didn't know he'd...oh my God..."_

_"Tell me why your school Principal recognized your car when I showed him the photo. You were involved with him, weren't you? Principal Castle took advantage of you."_

_"He didn't take advantage of me. We were in love - he loves me."_

_"You're pregnant, aren't you? With his baby."_

_"He was going to leave his wife to be with me - he told me...But Ms. McCartney saw us parked in my car up the hill from school. We didn't know, but she saw us...She came up to me later in the parking lot and freaked out like she had to be all worried about me, when I was the one who went after him."_

_"And you argued about turning him in?"_

_"I begged her not to. He hadn't done anything wrong. But she wouldn't listen - she said she was going to turn him in. I told him that and he said it'd be okay - that he'd talk to her...I didn't know what he was going to do...I didn't know..."_

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><p><em><strong><em><strong>Second District Station<strong>_**_

Yeah, how could I have taken an innocent man's life? The burden on my shoulders were too big for me to handle. The realization that came within the hours, the happenings and all the emotional feelings I lived through lead me to break down. I had the responsibility on more than my own life. I had the responsibility over James', Castle's and even the part I'll ever have of him. His child.

Why did I fought so much against it? I wanted to show the man I loved that I was worth it. That we could go through this. Because in the end, I still was the young woman that believed in happy endings.

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><p><em>And with these seconds I felt how the feather on my skin slipped off.<em>

_The End._

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><p><strong>AN:**

I've got to admit that this was the hardest Challenge I've been part of. It was a big struggle for me to write this down. I actually started 3 things and all deleted them. I'm glad it's done this way now. Also I'm not really satisfied with it.

But I want to say thank you to the ever so lovely Monique, who went through this with me. I felt like you always give my a bit of security and calm me down. I found the inner voice in myself to type the words down. Thank you, feel hugged.

Also I wanted to add a thank you to McBreezy who organizes these nice things to keep the Fandom going.

PS: I found more versions to write the names of the character. I just went through it with these ones.

Aalso sorry for typos and grammatical incorrect sentences. I'm not native English.


End file.
